The Dude Abides

 

The title of the post is a quote from The Big Lebowski- a movie that I bought for Dan, on the condition that he would promise to not watch in the living room. Here he is, presiding over the deck on the 2011 Fishing Trip.

Take me out to the Ball Game

Summers in Philadelphia meant a lot of things: playing tag in the driveway, catching lighting bugs, Mr. Softie driving up and down the streets, and the sound of baseball in the background.  The love of baseball goes back at least four generations in our family. We have all heard the stories of my great grandfathers listening to the Phillies or the A's.

Danny loved baseball, especially the Phillies. He watched the games, played with his friends, and played for a summer on the local little league team. Once a year, we would attend a game at the Vet with our parents. The seats were usually high in the stadium and we spent as much time watching the fans as we watched the players. My cousins played a lot of wiffleball in ocean city, with doggie dad yelling "John Kruk, traded to the Florida Marlins!" Doggie Dad even drove the grand kids to Baltimore for an Orioles  game.

I don't always follow baseball, but I was able to follow the Phillies through Dan's witty commentary
on Facebook! He was elated when they won the World Series in 2008. Dan, Pat, and their friend Slag braved a huge crowd to attend the World Series victory parade in Center City. They were almost separated until Dan grabbed Pat by the collar and pulled him onto a crowded subway car. Dan continued to go to games at every oppertunity, often attending with our parents, Pat, or his friend Slag.  

Some of the Hellfish at a Game.

Dan was looking forward to taking David to his first baseball game, but I wanted to wait until David was old enough to sit and appreciate the game, which I thought would be next summer. David wore the jersey that Dan bought him a few Christmases ago. We made it through 3 innings before a rain delay forced us to go home (which was probably enough time for David, anyway.)

Diz and Ben are both wearing gifts from Dan.

Taking David to his first game last week was a bittersweet experience, another reminder that things have changed. There are a lot of things that I always assumed that Dan would do, that Dan would be there for, or that Dan would enjoy. I know that I can do these things for myself but there will always be the regret that he won't be there for me in the same way.  I got choked up when I saw a little boy wearing a Kruk jersey.  But then I remembered that these memories, these experiences that are hard to explain because they are are so small... they are not going away.

I like to think that Dan IS still watching the Phillies in his own way. I can only imagine what his commentary would be like this season... or what he would have said to Ben for wearing an Eagles hat to the Phillies game!

Between the Lines

We are getting ready to trade in two of our cars, which we have had since 2003.  As I vacuumed and wiped down the cars my thoughts turned to the many road trips that Ben and I have taken them on.  Hershey Park, shore trips, Penn State… There were quite a few adventures with Dan or visiting Dan.  I started to write about some of these, but I came to realize that my favorite two “road trip with Dan” stories are not appropriate for this site.  But they made me smile and I’m glad that I have them. 

Dan had a quick wit and was fast with a joke.  Everyone who knew Dan probably has at least one memory like this- of something that he did that was silly or a bit off color.   I'm glad that he left so many memories like these, these little stories between the lines, because they are the ones that I hold onto when I am feeling down.

Summer Lull

Apologies for the lag in blog posts. I have a few entries about 90 percent complete but needed to give myself a break for a few reasons. While this was mostly a subconscious decision, I think it was a good one. The biggest challenge that I have had in maintaining the site has been to keep it positive. I hit a low point in my grieving process right around my birthday. Rather than put that negative energy out in the open, I stopped writing.

The other reason is that I didn't see Dan as much as I'd have liked to in the summer because he was always so busy. Some years were because of work, but mostly it was due to his social calendar! Barbecues, softball, jaunts to the beach, Phillies games... These were the times where Dan embraced his job as social director.

I do have more stories to tell- look for them shortly!

Gonna Fly Now- Fly Fly Fly

Last Saturday, I took a spin class at the Y on a whim. This was not a smart idea. I spent a difficult 55 minutes pedaling, readjusting the bike, and feeling very out of shape. When the instructor called out "Last song, remember why you're here!" I was relieved. I then found out that this class' traditional end song was the Rocky theme. I thought of Rocky running through South Philadelphia. I thought of the many times I played the song as a member of the Drexel Pep Band. I thought of Pat and his beautiful blog post. And of course, I thought of Dan.

Dan challenged himself from the time he was very young. He started climbing steps when he was 7 months old. He was the youngest in his class but he was consistently among the top students. He was not a big guy, but he played football for 8 years with St. Helena 's and for Cardinal  Dougherty. He played with a lot of heart.

My Grandpa took this photo of Dan playing Freshman Football. Dan is #10.

When CD assigned the coaching duties for the wrestling team to a teacher who didn't know the sport well, Dan volunteered to coach them himself.

He was a good coach but tough.  Many laps were run under Dan's coaching!

Dan played softball with the Five Points Hellfish, and the summer that he was sick was no exception. He carried the heart of the team that summer.

"Lefty" playing softball in 2012 with the Hellfish.

 He jumped out of a plane!

Yup.  That kid could have an adventure.

Not only did Dan challenge himself, but he challenged others around him.  He certainly encouraged me.  I started to think that doing something to push your boundaries would be a great way to honor Dan this summer, and I felt compelled to invite you to do the same.  You don't have to jump out of a plane but you can do a lot of things!

You can support a cause and run in a race.

Or bike for a cause like Ben and Stacie (MS and the ADA, respectively).

You can take a dive of your own... Sky or otherwise.

Pat leaps into the bay.

You can get on that scary looking roller coaster, and sit in the front.  Because, to quote Colleen, "It will be awesome!"

Ben and Colleen on the Sidewinder in Hershey Park.

You could get on a boat with 22 of your closest relatives- and then camp with them afterwards.

2013 Red Baron Memorial Fishing Trip.  Lunkers for Unker!

You can watch the sun rise in a new location.

Dan saw this sunrise in Wildwood

You can learn to play a new game.

Dan teaches Doggie Dad to play Ladder Ball.

You can paddle out into the open channel.
 

Ben paddles in the bay, 2010.

You can eat something ridiculous!

Dan won this lobster dinner in a claw machine.

You can go on adventure and see something you haven't before.

 

The Zerbes took a road trip over the summer and saw caves, mines, the Grand Canyon, and Circque!

Dan giving the world a thumb's up!

You may not succeed at these new endeavors (at least at first) but each attempt will help you grow. So push yourself hard to succeed!  Just know that whatever you do, Dan would have enjoyed hearing all about these new adventures. He would encourage you to push yourself to try something else. But most of all, he would be happy to know that you were enjoying life.