On Carrot Cake

At the time of this writing, it's been 7 weeks and 2 days since I last saw Dan.  Sometimes I feel like it hasn't been that long, and other times it feels like an eternity.  However long or short it's been, I have already been surprised at how many little signs of Dan have appeared. Amazingly, most of these signs happen when I am having a particularly "down" moment.  I choose to interpret them as signs that he is okay, and that he wants me to be, too.

Diz makes carrot cake for Uncle Dan

One of these signs occurred during an afternoon run to Starbucks. I had been having a particularly low afternoon and I decided that an afternoon pick-me-up was in order. (In other words, a giant cup of strong coffee.) I was in a complete fog when one of the baristas leaned over the counter and offered me a carrot cake muffin. I was immediately filled with emotion as I took the sample.

We celebrated McLaughlin Christmas in early January 2014.  When we celebrate holidays in our family, everyone contributes something special to the meal.  I had volunteered to make dessert. At that point, I wanted to make sure that Dan enjoyed this Christmas party and I knew that he was having trouble eating, so I asked him what he would want to eat for dessert. Dan approved my recipes for peanut butter pie and raspberry mouse cake, but then made a special request for carrot cake. I shouldn't have been too surprised- Dan and I both shared the favorite dessert of carrot cake, yet I had never made one.  I'm not sure why.  Even though he was very sick at that point, Dan helped me select a recipe. Diz helped me make the cake. And even though he was having a very hard time eating, Dan ate a slice at the Christmas party. He even sent me a text that night, thanking me.
 

Diz learns how to frost a cake

There were many times where Dan challenged me to push my boundaries.  Most of these were physical or intellectual. But other times, he simply encouraged me to pursue my interests. I am glad that he encouraged me to bake for that party. And I will make that recipe again someday and not feel sad, but happy that I tried something new.

Two months later, when I took that sample in the Starbucks, I was immediately taken back to that day when I made that cake, and he tried a little piece for me, and smiled, and I could not help smiling too.  And when they asked what I thought of the carrot cake, I said that it was very good... but not as good as "Dan's."

Welcome to the Dan McLaughlin Memorial Website

This site has been created as a way to share memories of my brother, Dan McLaughlin.  Dan was originally diagnosed with fibrolamellar hepatacellular carcinoma, a very rare form of liver cancer that primarily targets young adults, in September 2005. Dan utilmately won his fight with cancer in February 2014. 

As we prepared for Dan's memorial service, my family and I took much comfort from the many stories that were shared with us by our extended family and Dan's many friends. Preparing my talk for the service was very difficult, not only because of my high emotional state, but also because of the many great memories that we all had of Dan. I tried to use the best ones in my speech but if I had told them all, the service would have stretched out for hours!

We are very sad that Dan can no longer tell his story for himself.  By sharing memories of him with each other, we honor his memory and keep him with us in our hearts.

In the weeks since Dan passed away, there have been many times where I have struggled to cope. Sometimes, things get easier when I remember something about him.  Other times, it seems like he is sending me signs that he is okay.  I want to share those, too.

Finally, I know that I am one of many, many people who shared some special times with Dan.  If you have a memory that you would like to share, please send it along and I would be happy to post it here.