The Dude Abides

 

The title of the post is a quote from The Big Lebowski- a movie that I bought for Dan, on the condition that he would promise to not watch in the living room. Here he is, presiding over the deck on the 2011 Fishing Trip.

Take me out to the Ball Game

Summers in Philadelphia meant a lot of things: playing tag in the driveway, catching lighting bugs, Mr. Softie driving up and down the streets, and the sound of baseball in the background.  The love of baseball goes back at least four generations in our family. We have all heard the stories of my great grandfathers listening to the Phillies or the A's.

Danny loved baseball, especially the Phillies. He watched the games, played with his friends, and played for a summer on the local little league team. Once a year, we would attend a game at the Vet with our parents. The seats were usually high in the stadium and we spent as much time watching the fans as we watched the players. My cousins played a lot of wiffleball in ocean city, with doggie dad yelling "John Kruk, traded to the Florida Marlins!" Doggie Dad even drove the grand kids to Baltimore for an Orioles  game.

I don't always follow baseball, but I was able to follow the Phillies through Dan's witty commentary
on Facebook! He was elated when they won the World Series in 2008. Dan, Pat, and their friend Slag braved a huge crowd to attend the World Series victory parade in Center City. They were almost separated until Dan grabbed Pat by the collar and pulled him onto a crowded subway car. Dan continued to go to games at every oppertunity, often attending with our parents, Pat, or his friend Slag.  

Some of the Hellfish at a Game.

Dan was looking forward to taking David to his first baseball game, but I wanted to wait until David was old enough to sit and appreciate the game, which I thought would be next summer. David wore the jersey that Dan bought him a few Christmases ago. We made it through 3 innings before a rain delay forced us to go home (which was probably enough time for David, anyway.)

Diz and Ben are both wearing gifts from Dan.

Taking David to his first game last week was a bittersweet experience, another reminder that things have changed. There are a lot of things that I always assumed that Dan would do, that Dan would be there for, or that Dan would enjoy. I know that I can do these things for myself but there will always be the regret that he won't be there for me in the same way.  I got choked up when I saw a little boy wearing a Kruk jersey.  But then I remembered that these memories, these experiences that are hard to explain because they are are so small... they are not going away.

I like to think that Dan IS still watching the Phillies in his own way. I can only imagine what his commentary would be like this season... or what he would have said to Ben for wearing an Eagles hat to the Phillies game!

Between the Lines

We are getting ready to trade in two of our cars, which we have had since 2003.  As I vacuumed and wiped down the cars my thoughts turned to the many road trips that Ben and I have taken them on.  Hershey Park, shore trips, Penn State… There were quite a few adventures with Dan or visiting Dan.  I started to write about some of these, but I came to realize that my favorite two “road trip with Dan” stories are not appropriate for this site.  But they made me smile and I’m glad that I have them. 

Dan had a quick wit and was fast with a joke.  Everyone who knew Dan probably has at least one memory like this- of something that he did that was silly or a bit off color.   I'm glad that he left so many memories like these, these little stories between the lines, because they are the ones that I hold onto when I am feeling down.

Summer Lull

Apologies for the lag in blog posts. I have a few entries about 90 percent complete but needed to give myself a break for a few reasons. While this was mostly a subconscious decision, I think it was a good one. The biggest challenge that I have had in maintaining the site has been to keep it positive. I hit a low point in my grieving process right around my birthday. Rather than put that negative energy out in the open, I stopped writing.

The other reason is that I didn't see Dan as much as I'd have liked to in the summer because he was always so busy. Some years were because of work, but mostly it was due to his social calendar! Barbecues, softball, jaunts to the beach, Phillies games... These were the times where Dan embraced his job as social director.

I do have more stories to tell- look for them shortly!