Halloween

He always was a handsome little devil.

Pumpkins

You can see that jack o' lanterns are an important part of our Halloween tradition.

David picked a small "pie pumpkin" for Dan yesterday.

Turtle Power

Pat, Ben, David, and I participated in a Halloween-themed race dressed as Ninja Turtles. We wore Turtle t shirts, and I made wrist bands for us to wear.  Pat chose to be Leonardo, saying that Leo had been Dan's favorite when they were younger. (I don't remember this. I do remember the two of them giggling in front of the TV to watch them.)

Shoe charms that I made for my races... a reminder of the reasons I run.  I look up to my "little" brother for a good example. 

October Tree Update

I posted these on Facebook a few weeks ago but wanted to include on the website as well. 

Buzz reminds us that love goes from infinity and beyond.  (He is posing with the tree to honor Matthew Lynch.)

Past tree updates:

April (Immediately after planting)
May (Memorial Day)

Taking him with you

Over the weekend, I ran in a local 5K race in Chestnut Hill.  I was expecting to have a quiet morning jog but was pleasantly surprised to see an acquaintance from work, and we ran/ walked the race together.  We talked a little about our experience with cancer (she is helping to nurse her best friend through the end stages of cancer) and I mentioned that I started running again for the Livestrong Challenge.  She remarked that it was so nice that I carried a bit of Dan with me. I tried to say no, that Dan LOATHED running almost as much as waking up early on a Saturday.  But she was right.   

This morning, when I woke up for my run, it was 38 degrees outside.  Brrrr! I reached for my warmer sweatshirts and grabbed this jacket:

Diz shows off his baseball from Uncle Dan.

It's a bright orange, warm running jacket.  Dan bought it for me for Christmas in 2009, which will always be the "plastic bag" Christmas.  That was the year Dan worked at Dick's Sporting Goods, so all of our gifts came from there.  What was amusing about the whole situation was that Dan did not actually wrap the gifts in paper.  Instead, on Christmas morning, Dan walked down the steps with a large bag full of... smaller bags.  When it was his turn to give a gift, Dan would say, "Close your eyes!" and toss a gift across the room into the recipient's lap.  (Thankfully, most of them were soft!) Dan teased me a bit about liking the "weirdest color ever" but said that he wanted me to be warm while I was wearing it.

I put on the jacket and "took Dan with me" for my morning run.  I thought a lot about that day this morning as I watched the stars, and it gave me a much-needed smile.  It's the stories like these that are going to help me during the next few months.

Christmas Tickles

Still Missing You 8 Days a Week

I miss you more than words can say.

This month I wear pink AND green

Today is October 1, the start of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. My Facebook wall and the city skyline have both gone pink. I cannot walk into a store without passing an area where some sort of pink cancer awareness merchandise is being sold: jewelry, stand mixers, temporary tattoos. I look at the pink ribbons, and I remember those strong ladies in my life who have battled breast cancer and won (like my Mom Mom); who are undergoing treatment with smiles on their faces; those who have undergone treatment privately; or those who are no longer with us. My Aunt Eileen is always at heart of these thoughts, because she passed away within a month of her breast cancer diagnosis. Seeing pink everywhere can be overwhelming, and at times I want to say “Enough! Stop commercializing cancer!” or “Don’t you realize that there are other kinds of cancer?!” But I try to remember that the overall outcome of all of this pink is good. Yes, in general, the public is AWARE of breast cancer and the criticality of early detection. However, even when cancer is caught early, the journey is long, tough, and in some ways, lonely. Talking about this health issue can be very embarrassing for a woman, and it can be easy to push off that mammogram for “just a while longer.” Maybe seeing a “fight like a girl” t-shirt will give someone the motivation to get that exam that will save their life.

My outlook on this subject changed somewhat last year. You see, October is also Liver Cancer Awareness Month. Dan had the rotten luck of not only being diagnosed with a liver cancer, but a rare one at that. (So rare that it was not even included as a part of the American Liver Society or American Cancer Foundation literature until relatively recently.) There are no campaigns to sell merchandise with green ribbons that I am aware of.

Throughout Dan’s seventeen-month battle, it became apparent that the general public’s awareness of liver cancer is… lacking. There is a perception that liver cancer is a side effect of lifestyle choices, and that it only affects older adults. This shows a bigger issue: public awareness of teen and young adult cancers in general is low. 10% of all cancer patients fall into this category. According to the Wall Street Journal, “Survival rates for Teen and Young Adult Cancer patients have barely budged since 1975, while those for children and older people have made dramatic gains. Some 72,000 Teen & Young Adult Americans aged 15-39 are diagnosed with cancer every year, and more than 10,000 die." Only 5% of cancer research funds are used to study pediatric cancers.

Having a “less popular” cancer with few unique symptoms can significantly impair a patients’ diagnosis. Many of these rare cancers go undetected until it is too late for effective treatment. People attribute unusual aches and pains to other causes- pulled muscles, indigestion, and pregnancy, to name a few. It can be difficult for a patient to convince a doctor that his/ her symptoms are severe enough to warrant additional scans and tests to diagnose a problem. This is especially true for children and young adults. No one thinks that a child will get a rare cancer.

“Less popular” cancers receive less funding for research. Until this year, I had never realized that there were several kinds of breast cancer, and that prognosis and treatment could vary greatly. A liver cancer patient has very limited options when discussing treatment plans with their oncologist. The only proven way to treat Dan’s type of liver cancer is surgical resection, such as the one he had in 2005. There is currently no chemotherapy treatment labeled for fibrolamellar. The only options available are chemotherapy regimens labeled for other cancers or for patients to pursue treatment in clinical trials. Both of these options are risky and oftentimes expensive, because many insurance companies will not pay for these treatments. Over the past year, I have seen many cancer patients make these difficult choices. They choose life and hope. They spread awareness every day and inspire those around them.

What can you do to spread awareness in October?

If you are a cancer patient or a survivor, celebrate your victories, regardless of the month, with your support network. If you have taken a more private approach to your treatment, you can still reward yourself. You are a fighter!

For those of you who choose to wear pink: Rock it! But remember that pink ribbons are more than a fashion statement. Tell “your” cancer patient how much they have inspired you. Take the time to do those self-checks.

For those of you who are feeling lost in the sea of pink: Remember that you are not alone. It can be overwhelming when you feel like no one has heard of your cause. Research needs go on throughout the year, no matter what month it is! Maybe this is a good time to send a letter about your cause to lawmakers or researchers, or a donation to the charity/ researcher of your choice, or to reach out for support from others.

Remember that YOU are your biggest advocate. Whether it’s a lump in your breast, unusual skin coloration, a strange pain, or digestive issues with no real cause, it is imperative that you push to find out exactly what is causing an issue. It is YOUR right or choice to see the treatment that you feel is appropriate for you.

Dan was not a “ribbon” kind of guy, but he was a big supporter of those who were feeling the effects of cancer. It is in this vein that I posted this on his page today. Hopefully he doesn’t mind. We will be back to our usual shenanigans soon!